Many times I have heard birthmothers say that they were worried about their ability to parent and their parenting skills. They wondered if they could be a good mother and some may let these fears get in the way of parenting. Of course, these are all legitimate concerns and some women may deal with these concerns and think about before even getting pregnant, but if you are facing an unplanned pregnancy these thoughts may be coming up more frequently and you have to deal with them now as you decide whether you should parent or make an adoption plan.

When I ended up in an unplanned pregnancy at nineteen with Noah, I was scared to death. I had always dreamed of being a mother and I knew I wanted children one day, but the thought of being a mother at nineteen was scary! I worried about my ability to deal with a crying baby, to change diapers and do feedings at two in the morning, and how I would be able to tell the difference from a hungry cry versus a sick cry. I wasn’t perfect, I made mistakes with Noah, every new Mother does, but I managed. I read books about parenting, I asked my mother and other mothers I knew of questions, I even called the pediatrician and asked questions (that I am sure they thought were silly) on occasion. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.

Being a mother is one of the hardest, most challenging, yet most rewarding “jobs” or experiences I have ever done. And just as I doubted my ability in the beginning, you may doubt yours. I think anyone can be a good mother if they put their mind to it, but I have a few tips to help you out along the way.

• Read parenting books. Check out parenting books from your local library or ask friends and family members of titles they found helpful. I found reading books helped me feel that I was preparing in some way.


• Ask questions! Don’t be afraid to ask questions. I know even now, if I had some sort of parenting question regarding Noah, I could pick up the phone and call my Mom at three in the morning if need be and she’d groggily help me.


• Utilize any community resources that are available to you. Many communities offer free parenting classes. Check with the local hospital, health department, community center, etc. to see what is offered in your area.


• Learn by trial and error. Some things, like how to change a diaper, are just learned by trial and error. You may start off not very good but after one hundred or so diaper changes, you’re an old pro!

Don’t let your fears get in your way of parenting if you feel that is the best decision for you and your baby.

--
Photo Credit

Related Posts:
Parenting Preparations
Lack of Maternal Instinct