So, you are pregnant and exploring your options and you are leaning towards adoption. Here’s a few important things I think all expectant mothers considering adoption should remember.

First off, never forget that you are a mother. People may call you a birtmother while you are still pregnant, but you are not. You do not become a birthmother unitl you actually sign those relinquishment papers. You are simply an expectant mother trying to make the best the decision for her baby. You are a good mother!

Now, let’s get back to what to expect when you are expecting to be a birthmom:

• Expect mixed emotions and grief. Grief while I was pregnant, took me by surprise. I didn’t expect to feel such sadness before Charlie’s birth. It was bittersweet – I could feel his little kicks inside of me but I knew in a short time he would be living away from me.



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• Expect that not everyone will agree with you. (You sort of knew this one, didn’t ya?) Everyone is going to have their own opinions about what you should or should not do regarding your childs’ future. Just remember that this is your decision!



• Expect rude comments. Just as people have their own opinions, they will have their own comments and some will not be nice.



• Expect to participate in making your own adoption plan. I think some expectant mothers are taken by surprise when they are given options in choosing the parents, choosing the level of contact they wish to have, etc. in an adoption plan. In today’s era, you are given the opportunity to actively participate in making your child's adoption plan.



• Expect to answer questions that will “sting.” You will be asked questions that may hurt a little and drive home the fact that you are not parenting such as, “will you breast or bottle feed?” There will also be questions that may sting that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life such as “how many children do you have?”



• Expect to love unconditionally. I know when my first son was born, I was blown away by the amount of love I felt for him. I did not know it was possible to love another person so much. I think many first time mothers may not be prepared for the overwhelming since of love you may feel for your child.