When I was recently browsing the unplanned pregnancy forums, I came across a thread about what questions are or are not appropriate for an expectant mother to be asking prospective adoptive parents that she is meeting with as she considers them to be parents for her baby. She also asked if the adoptive parents are unable to have children, is it ok for her to ask why.


My personal thoughts on this subject are yes, as an expectant mother making an adoption plan; you should be allowed to ask just about anything! These are the people you are thinking of placing your child with for life! It’s a huge decision and you should be able to ask them whatever you need to in order to feel more comfortable with the decision. I think that prospective adoptive parents should be open to this and realize that it is a good thing if the expectant mother is asking a lot of smart, thought out questions.

While it might be painful for the prospective adoptive parents to answer I think that if you as an expectant mother want to ask why they are adopting or why they can not have children, you should be allowed to do so. I mean they are likely to ask you why you are considering making an adoption plan so it should only be fair that you be allowed to ask why they are adopting.

As for questions that I didn’t ask but wished I had asked, I wish that I had asked, I honestly can’t think of many. I do wish that I had asked what would happen to the adoptive parents should something happen to Charlie while he was still young, which I also just wrote about in the open adoption blog. I also wish that I had asked if they were to divorce, who would end up with primary custody of Charlie?


My opinion is definitely, ask what you feel is important.


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Other Posts about Choosing Adoptive Parents:
Questions to Ask Prospective Adoptive Parents
Choosing a Family
Meeting Hopeful Adoptive Parents