In continuation from previous posts asking birthmothers the question, “What do you wish you would have known while you were going through the adoption process that you know now?”
Analiah placed two daughters in open adoptions in 2004 and 2005.
”I wish I would have found other birthmoms to talk to while I was pregnant and talk to people who already went through the adoption process .I wish I knew that I would be forever changed by giving someone else a family. I wish I would have know how much I would hurt,I wish that I would have know how much I would appreciate the whole thing .I guess I wish I would have know about adoption before going threw it .But I would probably do it all over again.”
Lauren placed her son in an open adoption in March of 2006.
” I wish I would have known that I would feel the way I do today -PAIN. I didn’t think I would feel at all like this. Although my baby is in a good home, I could have tried the best to offer as much as I could. Like people say, – It’s not age that matters when you have a baby, it’s just another obstacle in life.”
Joann placed her daughter in a semi open adoption in August of 2002.
”I wish I would have know that having a child really changes your life. Everything about you changes – physically, mentally, and spiritually. You aren’t the same person or have the same life that you had before. You aren’t just going pick up where you left off before you were pregnant. You will be forever changed.”
Leigh placed her daughter in an open adoption.
” I wish that I was strong enough to tell the people yelling at me that I would be a great parent and not the listen to what they were telling me.”
Kelly placed her child for adoption in 2000.
”I wish I had known that placing a child doesn’t just affect the birthmother, but it affects the whole family. I wish I had known I could have named my child.”
S placed her daughter in a semi open adoption in 2005.
”I wish I’d known that after placement every time I’d see another baby I would be reminded of the one I’d just given birth to and that I would compare them to the baby that I was not getting to see. Let me tell you there are a lot of babies in the world and every time I see one that looks like it might be around my daughter’s age it makes my heart ache a little bit. Or if I see mothers and daughters of any age out together looking really happy that hurts sometimes because I won’t get to have the experiences with my daughter that I see other mothers having with theirs. It would have been nice to be expecting this because it took me totally by surprise.”
Special thanks to all the birthmoms who helped by answering “What do you wish you had known then?”