Having both a Mom and a Dad seems pretty important in a child’s life, doesn’t it? I thought so and still think so.
But should it be a sole reason for placing a child for adoption? I don’t think so. It was a large part of my reasoning in placing Charlie. I had split from Noah’s dad and already felt guilty enough knowing one child was going to be raised in a “broken home.” I began to think that I really might not have been capable of parenting two children alone.
Today, almost six years later, I know I would have been capable. But for me personally, what’s done is done. I can’t undo the past, can only help others learn in the future.
So, let’s explore this two parent thing a little more. Ultimately, if you are faced with the possibility of parenting alone, it’s going to be your decision of whether or not you do that, but I think there are a few factors to think about and consider before making an adoption plan that’s major reasoning is based on giving your child a two parent home.
First of all, one week, one month, or one year after giving birth you could meet Mr. Right. I actually met Mr. Right during my pregnancy, but wasn’t totally sure if he was Mr. Right or Mr. Right Then. You could meet the man of your dreams, fall madly in love, and get married. Then your child is in a two parent home.
Secondly, just because the adoptive parents are together at the time of your baby’s placement, doesn’t mean they will be together forever. Unfortunately, many couples divorce nowadays and your child’s adoptive parents could be one of them. Then your child would no longer be in a two parent home.
So am I saying a two parent or one parent home is better?? I’m not saying either. A child can be raised appropriately in just about any type of family that provides him or her with the love, guidance, and nurturing that a child needs to grow into a well adjusted adult. I’m saying think about the future, not just the here and now. Think about what could change for the good or the bad in the future.