I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—the single best thing you can be doing for you and your baby right now is to read, read, read. Educating yourself about the realities of adoption will go a long way toward helping you make the right decision. However, if you get tired of hitting the books, you might want to take a break and watch some movies instead. I’ll discuss two of them today.

First, the non-fiction view. Unlocking the Heart of Adoption is a wonderful documentary about adoption, seen from all three sides of the triad. Made by a birthmother, Sheila Ganz, this hour-long film acknowledges all the complex emotions inherent in adoption.

The documentary intersperses Sheila’s own experiences with stories from birthparents, adoptive parents and adopted people, in adoptions that were international and domestic, same-race and transracial. The production values are not outstanding, but the emotional truths are. What the film makes clear is that adoption is no simple thing, that sometimes it has happy outcomes and sometimes not, and that there is always a certain amount of pain involved, for all sides.

Unlocking the Heart of Adoption isn’t widely available—you probably won’t find it at your local Blockbuster— but you can order a copy here, and you may be able to catch it on public television in some areas. Check the website for details.

Unlocking the Heart of Adoption is real life; this next movie is fictional, and I recommend it with some reservations. The 1998 film The Baby Dance, with Laura Dern and Stockard Channing, is often infuriating it its overly stereotypical views of expectant mothers considering adoption. (Last time I checked, most of us aren’t yahoos who drink and smoke our way through pregnancy.) However, the value of the movie is that it will introduce you to some of the uglier realities of how adoptions take place in the United States today. It also offers a thoughtful examination of how money and social class are often at the root of surrenders.

I should also warn you ahead of time that the ending is disappointing, but again, not unrealistic. If you are in a fragile emotional place right now, don’t watch The Baby Dance right away…it is likely to make you angry and sad. However, if you feel you can handle it, it will also make you a little more savvy about private, attorney-arranged adoptions.