You may be getting sick of my What You Wish You Would Have Known series but has it generated a lot of response. I received many comments, emails, and forum posts with many of your thoughts as to what you wish you had known prior to placing your child for adoption. Many of them sang the same tune over and over, just in different words. Many of the birthmothers wish they had known the lifelong grief they would experience as a result of placing their child for adoption. I posted some of the responses in other blog entries and kind of thought I was done with the series.
But then I received the following reply to that post from Nicole, a birthmom to a daughter who is now years five years old and is raising a daughter who is two years old. Her reply was like no other I had received. She recounted the pain many of the other birthmothers shared, but she spoke of it in such a touching way that made my heart smile and frown at the same time, as I read her words. I couldn’t resist sharing it with you.
I wish someone would have told me that getting up in the middle of the night with a hungry, crying baby is not all stress and frustration that it actually gives you some of the best memories, best bonding moments, sweetest feelings in a lifetime.
I wish someone would have told me that once you become a parent, all your prior hopes and dreams aren’t nearly as important to you as just being with your child, watching your child grow, and seeing your child flourish.
I wish someone would have told me that all expectant parents have doubts and fears, that you learn as you go, and that having fears actually is a good sign because it means you’re open to growth and learning.
I wish someone would have told me that one goodnight kiss from my child would be worth more to me than my college degree.
I wish someone would have told me that feeling a toddler’s arms wrapped around my neck and hearing her whisper “Mommy, I love you too” would make all the day’s stresses and frustrations disappear.
I wish someone would have told me that staying home and having pillow fights on the couch can be more fun than going out for a night on the town.
I wish someone would have told me that the amount of joy parenting brings far outweighs any sacrifice.
Thank you Nicole for sharing your touching point of view to What You Wish you had Known.
PS… If you might be wondering why I have loved snow globes as the picture for this series it is because my son calls snow globes “wish wishes.”