Unplanned Pregnancy, Expectant Parent Blog - Tips on Choosing a Prospective Adoptive Family

Crisis Pregnancy Blog

07/11/07

Posted by : Coley S. in Crisis Pregnancy Blog at 07:43 am , 345 words, 185 views
Categories: Choosing Adoptive Parents, Decisions

Below are a few things to think about and consider during the process of choosing an adoptive family.

Don’t rush. While you may prefer to find a family during your pregnancy so you can start getting to know them before the birth of your baby, there is no rule that says they must be found and chosen before the birth of the baby. You can still choose a family afterwards so don’t let a near by due date rush you into a quick decision.

Consider choosing an adoptive family that already has one (or more) adopted children in open adoptions. Ask to speak to their child’s birthmother to see if they have remained consistent and fulfilled the promises they made before relinquishment.

Discuss flexibility. While post adoption contact agreements are great, you may want to discuss leaving some room for flexibility and try to find a family that is ok with being flexible based on your needs and the child’s needs. You do not know exactly how you are going to feel about being a birthmother until after the birth of your baby. During your pregnancy and the planning stages of your adoption plan, you may think that one visit a year is enough. But after relinquishment, you may decide that once a year is not enough.

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Meet with more than one family, even if it is just for comparisons sake. Some agencies may feel differently about you wanting to meet with more than one family but it is your right to meet with as many families as you need or want to. Even if you know the family you have selected is the right family, still meet with another family just for comparison sake.

If at any time you begin to see red flags that this may not be the correct family for your child, do something about it. You are not obligated to any family. If you begin to feel uncomfortable, consider choosing another family.