I got a little help from my friends on this one. These are some of the top things that we as birthmothers feel that adoption professionals forget to tell you while pregnant and making an adoption plan. Thanks to my friends who helped out with this post!
We wish adoption professionals had told us…
- That open adoptions are not legally binding or enforceable. It really is dependent on whether or not the family you have chosen is trust worthy or not, which is often hard to detect in just a few months time. Legally they can close the adoption at any point whether it is in the “best interests of the child” or not.
- That I had the right to spend as much time as I wanted to with my child in the hospital. That was MY time to mother her, feed her, love on her, etc… (Submitted by J)
- That adoptees will experience loss and grief too even if they are placed from birth. (Submitted by J)
- That you would be on an uncontrollable emotional rollercoaster for some time after relinquishment. (Submitted by B.)
- Of our rights! Such as to name our baby, hold our baby, etc… (submitted by M)
- That I might not ever be able to have anymore children. That I might be “giving away” my only child.
- That you can not just “move on.” There is no forgetting, no matter how hard you may try. (Submitted by A.)
- That adoption would not only affect me but it would affect subsequent children and my family members too. (submitted by L)
- That the placement of my child will affect me and bring up mixed emotions with subsequent pregnancies or children. (Submitted by C)
- That I will never again feel whole. (submitted by J)
Readers, do you have anything to add? Anything you feel the adoption professionals forgot to tell you?