March 29th, 2010
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Mom and BabyWhen talking about the subjects of adoption , abortion and single parenting, I am always amused to see the two different camps of thought. Some who have placed their babies for adoption state that one of the reasons (in a list of many) that they chose relinquishment was the stigma that is attached to single parenting. While discussing the topic of abortion and adoption with a group of adults untouched by the actual issues, they stated that the stigma of single parenting died a long time ago.

So which is it?

It depends, really. On many things! Where you live, the age of your own parents, religious views and, of course, your own age all come into play as to whether you’re going to experience negativity as a single parent. There are areas of the country that are more accepting of different family demographics. Small town USA isn’t always so welcoming, though, at the same time, some little towns will embrace their own with help and love. It’s hard to tell and it can really go either way.

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The truth is that there are many successful, wonderful single parents who help break down the stigmas that people still want to place upon the whole group. In fact, single parents can adopt. Those who are willing to belittle and judge single parents forget that many people who didn’t intend to be find themselves as single parents due to divorce and death. One important thing to remember is that those who are judging single parents are likely also judging two-parent homes for things like age and how their kids dress and other inconsequential mumb0-jumbo.

Should you choose to parent on your own, the truth is that you will likely run across some nasty comments over the years. However, as a mother who chose adoption, I’ve also experienced those kind of comments. In fact, as a married woman who was of a proper age and was financially stable, I’ve met some opposition to the ways in which I parent with my husband as well. You can’t please everyone. I encourage you not to make the stigma of single parenting even a consideration as you continue to make decisions regarding your pregnancy.

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3 Responses to “The Stigma of Single Parenting”

  1. That is so sad that women that place here negative comments. It’s so surprising to me that you can do something so selfless and to place your child with another family who can provide them with all the things you are unable to at this time…and people think you’re being selfish. The adopted kids we work with have broken down in tears over the love and respect they have for their birthmothers. It is the most courageous thing anyone could do….and choosing what’s best for the child is what being a mother is all about…no matter the personal cost. Although adoption is not best for everyone, there are a lot of facts about single parenting that can make a strong case for it…http://www.adoption-center.org/Pregnant/facts-to-help-you-decide.html

  2. @Adoption Center of San Diego 1 – I agree as well, there are so many families out there who face infertility issues who have the resources to provide a wonderful life for their future children. Their only hope is that a birth mother will choose them, that they will choose life even though there are so many things around them saying otherwise. Adoption is not an easy thing for a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy but the rewards are much greater in the end. Open Adoption today allows our birth mothers to be a part of their childs life, after all they are the first mother.

    Eternal Adoptions has just recently posted a blog with an article we found on Newsweek about “Birth Mother Respect” it really is a great article…

    To see the full text click here: http://eternaladoptions.org/2010/10/02/why-birth-mothers-deserve-our-respect/

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