In my recent post about regrets, I mentioned that one of my few regrets is not giving my son, Charlie, a name of my own choosing. I’ve heard a few other birthmothers mention that they are saddened they did not give their child a name of their own choosing as well, so let’s look at this dilemma a little closer using myself and my situation as the example.


Why do I regret not giving Charlie a name of my own choosing?
I can’t really put my finger on it and tell you one specific reason. Almost all other mothers choose a name for their child and I now feel I shouldn’t have been any different just because I was making an adoption plan. Also, naming him would have been something special that I had done for him, even if he wasn’t called that name today, I would still know I had taken the time to search for just the right name for him. Naming him is just something that I really wish I had done.

Why didn’t I name him?
I did know I had the right to name him. I even remember A. (his adoptive mom) telling me this the first time I ever had dinner at their house, but I was adamant from the beginning that I was not going to choose a name for him partially because I knew if I chose a name for him and they changed it that I might harbor some feelings of hurt or resentment for years to come. As his adoptive parents, S and A, had every right to choose their own name for Charlie and I am respectful of that but I was afraid had I chosen a name for them and they had changed it that my feelings might be hurt and I didn’t want to have to deal with that on top of everything else one has to deal with when relinquishing a child for adoption.

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Related Posts:
Baby Names
The Name Game