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Have you started thinking of a name for your baby? Even if you make an adoption plan, one of your rights is to name your baby.
Naming a child is no easy task! You have to find this tricky balance between what’s trendy and old fashioned, what’s current and what’s not, what’s traditional and what’s heritage and choose something that you will still like in 50 years. I love the advice I read somewhere about shouting the name aloud and making sure it sounds nicely when yelled! 
While making an adoption plan, you can choose a name for your baby and then the adoptive parents can change the name. Sometimes adoptive parents will keep one of the names chosen by the birthmother as the baby’s first or middle name. Sometimes they may use the birthmother’s middle name as the baby’s middle name. There are all sorts of “name games” that go on nowadays. In many of the open adoptions today, prospective birth families and adoptive parents choose names together. Of course, the adoptive parents have the choice to re-name the child. Remember though, it really is your right to name your child whatever you wish.
Almost 6 years ago, I was a pregnant girl sitting at my son’s soon to be adoptive mom’s kitchen. I distinctly remember his sister(by adoption) asking me what I was going to name the baby which I replied I wasn’t and looked at Angee and let them know that they could pick the name. She said, “You know you can name him if you like, right?” I said yes, but I don’t know how sure I was on that answer.
Long story short, they picked Charlie’s first and middle name. I like to think I had “veto power” although it was never intentionally said but they threw names at me and I like to think that if I’d said “ewwww yuck” they’d have reconsidered. Charlie was not a name I’d have chosen on my own, but it was a name that I liked once suggested and I think it fit him.
However a part of me now wishes that I had chosen a name for him myself. Sure it would have been only been on his original birth certificate, he wouldn’t be called that name, and not that many people would have been aware of it, but it would have been a special name that as his first mom I had chosen specifically just for him. With my first son, Noah, he has a Bible name for his first name and then his middle name is after my brother. My husband and I have discussed it and if we have a son, his first name will be a Bible name and his middle name after my husband’s brother. So I wish, if even for only a few hours, I’d have given Charlie a first name of my choosing and it would have been a Bible name. But at the time it just seemed easier to name him what his adoptive parents had chosen.
So if you are pregnant, think about your child’s name long and hard. Whether you make an adoption plan or not, it’s something your child will have forever!
Here’s a few sites that explain the meanings of names and also tell you some of the trendy names and most popular for that given year.
Baby Names.Com – Searchable database of 10,000 names & meanings
Baby Center - Baby name finder that allows you to find baby names by ethnics orginin, number of syllables, gender, and meaning
Coley, good reminder – parents need to know that they have a right to name their children even if an adoption will occur. Many mothers considering adoption still do not know that. In my era, few did.
I did not name my son either, and wish that I had. For adoptees, I know that some consider it a sign of caring, love or interest when they discover that they were named. They do not always realize that many birth mothers believe that they are not entitled to name them.
Allthough we didn’t name her, we talked with the adoptive parents and her middle name is my first name but her first name is not one that we(bdad and myself) would have chosen. We were happy in the fact that we too Coley would have veto power.
my little one and i share a common middle name and i must say that its something that i hold in my heart as a connection.
Though I did not know when I named Brittany that she was going to be adopted, I am still very glad that was one of the firsts in her life that we got to share. Thanks for posting this Coley. It is a great reminder that even if a child is going to be adopted their biological mom can still name them. Great job Coley.