January 11th, 2012
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Categories: Uncategorized

heartNo greater love could there ever be a love that encompasses sorrow

Not even the darkest night can smother its heavenly light

It holds the broken and weary, embraces the torn parts and puts them together whole

This love stretches and grows within wiggles and kicks and sings lullabies

This love lets go leaving empty arms and leaves an ache that time cannot touch.

This love lets love go.

I was looking at a picture when I wrote this poem, of a mother’s hand holding a baby’s new little feet. In captions on the side it said “She did a beautiful thing”.

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What can I tell you that you don’t already know? Or are you willing to see the point of another person, outside of your hurt and sorrow?

Sometimes we get stuck in our own ways of thinking, and that is OK sometimes but when sorrow is all you can focus on then what is its purpose? In adoption on all sides there is a sorrow that cannot seem to be touched or healed, but I believe that we can.

I have probably already blogged to death on this but the love you have for your children is the same love you deserve and sometimes when you reach that point where sorrow is your focus and you can’t see the light anymore, try something.

Look for the light in your life, for that moment that every time you think of it, you can’t help but smile. Can’t or won’t get out of bed because you feel you have no purpose? Get up, shower, wear something that makes you feel good, and do something that brings you joy.

I volunteer at a food pantry and when I get the opportunity to give to a family that truly appreciates the food they receive it makes my day. I know the food I may or may not have packed will be a reminder of joy for them. Sort of like a passing it forward thing.

I was sitting downstairs yesterday in the pantry for a moment and saw some food that was donated by a friend, and I thought to myself that it would go into a bag with the same spirit of giving that makes me happy to a family that would appreciate it.

I recently came to a point in my head and heart, a decision if you will about my relationship with my bio son Phoenix and life in general.

I decided that I was worth loving too.

When you choose adoption, it should be out of an act of selfless love, something bigger then yourself. The same love we didn’t know we had the capacity to hold is more then just for the children we place.

Wherever you are today, be gentle and try to not hold yourself by the same judgment you always have, and try to see yourself in the same love you are choosing for the life stirring within you.

Love,

Nellie J.

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