Earlier I talked about how to tell your boyfriend or partner that you are pregnant. In this post, I'll talk about breaking the news to your family, who are the next group of people that definitely need to know.

If you have a rocky relationship with your parents or if you are worried about the severity of their reaction, it's tempting to want to hide your pregnancy from them as long as you can. Feelings of shame and fear are very common for women in crisis pregnancies, and it doesn’t matter if you are 14 or 40—they happen to adults as well as minors.

So while you may wish you could to keep the news to yourself, please remember that nothing good ever comes from secrets or lies. While your parents may react with shock, disappointment or even anger at first, they still need to know that they have a grandchild on the way.

Parents can also do an amazing turnaround, going from being initially unhappy about the pregnancy, to getting used to the idea, and finally learning to anticipate and welcome your baby. Give them time to process their emotions--you may be surprised at where their opinion comes to rest.

If you're fairly certain about considering adoption for your baby, that is all the more reason to tell your family. Adoption affects them, too, and will represent a loss for them. It isn't fair to make decisions about their grandchild without telling them.

Unfortunately, it is possible to go through the experience without telling them. I find it extremely strange that in most states, a minor can make an adoption plan without informing her family. Yet a young woman of the same age can not have an abortion without parental consent in most states. Granted, adoption is different from abortion, but it is no less serious, and it's every bit as life-altering. Adoption affects all the people around you, for generations to come. That's why you have to share the news.

Last but not least, remember that an unplanned pregnancy is hard on your parents, too. You should expect them to experience a range of emotions, not all of them happy.

It won’t be an easy conversation. Be direct, and tell them that you want and need their support during this time. Ask them to please not push you toward any one option, and to give you the space to re-make your decision once the baby arrives. I hope that your family will pull together during the crisis rather than apart. Good luck!