In continuing with the teen pregnancy series, today I’d like to share the story of a teen mom.

Meet Tabitha
Tabitha became pregnant for the first time at 16 years old. She married her high school sweetheart while she was pregnant. She gave birth to her son two days after her 17th birthday in 1997. She freely shares the triumphs and tribulations of being a teen mom with us.

Did you consider adoption?
For about 1 hour on a very bad day. Neither of us could find jobs and money was scarce. Adoption was an
unselfish thought and back then I was thinking selfishly and wanted this baby. I don't think we thought of the baby at all; although if you asked me that then I would have said everything we did had the baby in mind, but now I know that's just not true.

Was your family supportive?
For the most part.

Describe some of the challenges of parenting a child as a teen.
It was hard. Finding a job that pays enough to raise a family on, was difficult. I also didn’t realize how costly being a parent and having a baby is. We both worked long hours, so J was in day care from 6 AM to 6 PM. Building a marriage and having a child immediately was hard. I wish we’d had a few years of marriage before having kids to get to know each other better.

How did friends react to your pregnancy and to the baby? Were they supportive and understanding?
I lost some friends; they just stopped talking to me. I think their parents probably told them to. A few thought it was cool that we were having a baby.

Do you think you were treated differently because of your age?
YES, YES, YES! Most definately! Daycare workers, family members, other mothers, doctors, nurses, etc..

How did having a baby at a young age change your life?
It’s hard to put into words because having a child in general changes anyone’s life very drastically. For me, it was growing up faster than most people my age. I remember missing out on freedom and when all I had to think about was me, not a baby. When friends called and wanted to go out or my work asked me to work extra, I did not think twice about it. Then one day I woke up to find my son did not call me mommy and didn’t want to be home, he wanted to be somewhere else all the time. And I really could not tell you that much about him even though I had spent every day with him. I was not there emotionally, which later in life resulted in him having some behavior problems. We didn’t really “parent.” We let J fall asleep when he fell asleep, eat whatever, etc.

Anything else you want to add that I might have left out?
Although it was very hard, I would not change my life today. I love J very much and am thankful we have him. I do feel J lost out some, but we are making up for that today. Sometimes I feel like we failed him with all the mishaps in our parenting skills but I think some parents feel that at times anyways regardless of the age they had children.

Update - Ten years later, Tabitha is still married to her highschool sweetheart and they have a second son.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Tabitha!