Women in past generations who made adoption plans were typically not given the option of whether or not they could see or spend time with their baby. There was no questioning it; that’s just the way it was and in some cases, mothers are still unsure to if they gave birth to a boy or a girl.

In that aspect, times have changed. Expectant mothers making adoption plans are often encouraged to spend time with their baby in the hospital. However, there are still those with the old school beliefs that spending time with her baby would just make the separation all the more difficult.

I strongly disagree. I am a firm believer in “you must say hello before you can say goodbye.” I think spending time with your baby and getting to know him or her a little bit, while painful, is also healthy.

I do not know of one single birthmother who spent time with her baby in the hospital and now regrets it. I don’t. In fact, I regret not spending enough alone time with him. I had many visitors in the hospital. Looking back, I wish I’d said “no visitors.” Those friends and family could have visited me at home during those first few days when I was at home empty handed and recovering from a c-section.

So, if you are making an adoption plan, I encourage you to spend some time with your baby and not just time, get some alone time with your precious little one. This is YOUR time with your baby. Whisper in his or her ear how much you love him/her. Sing him or her your favorite lullaby. Share your favorite childhood memory. Take a zillion pictures. Feed your baby a bottle. Give him or her a special stuffed animal. Read a letter you wrote ahead of time or your favorite childhood book. Take a zillion more pictures.

And just treasure every single second!

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Resources:
Saying Goodbye


Related posts:
Did you See or Hold your Baby in the Hospital?