In the older days of adoption, expectant mothers making adoption plans were not given the option to spend time with their baby in the hospital. Often times they did not even get to see their baby. It was not a choice for them, simply the way things were in their era.

Nowadays, expectant mothers making adoption plans are given the option of whether or not they spend time with their babies in the hospital and often encouraged to do so. However, there are still those of the school of thought that mothers making adoption plans should not spend time with their children in the hospital.

I have to disagree. I think it is very important that you spend time with your baby. I am a firm believer in the “you can not say goodbye until you say hello.” I think that in order to grieve properly, it helps to see your baby, to spend time with him or her, to spend a precious day or two remembering his or her finger and toes, memorizing his or her newborn smell. Sing to your baby. Read your favorite childhood book to your baby. Feed your baby a bottle. Change your baby’s diaper. Dress your baby in a special outfit. Give your baby a special stuffed animal. Pray with your baby. Take pictures with your baby. Video your baby. Spoil your baby. Love on your baby. Smother your baby with kisses and hugs. The hospital is your time with your baby – spend it how you want, doing what you want with your baby.

I don’t know of one single birthmother who has later on regretted spending time in the hospital with his or her baby. In fact, I regret not spending enough one on one alone time with Charlie in the hospital.