September 28th, 2008
Posted By:
Categories: Parenting

There are a lot of young mothers or young pregnant mothers in the news lately such as Jamie Lynn Spears and Bristol Palin. When you read about either of these young women, one thing you often hear is that they are planning to get married. While I think that is great for them since it is their choice, I also hope it doesn’t send the wrong message out to some unwed expectant mothers. I wonder if they are wondering if they got married if their pregnancy might be more accepted.

Yes, you might feel more accepted. Having a baby while married is seen more acceptable by much of society versus having a baby out of wedlock, but should you get married just because you are pregnant?

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I don’t think that you should get married just because you are expecting a baby. Marriage is beautiful when you get married for the right reasons but if you get married just because you are pregnant I think your marriage is far less likely to work out.

I know from experience. I got married in my first unplanned pregnancy because I felt it was the best thing to do. I felt that by getting married I could acceptably parent Noah. I wouldn’t be shunned because I was a single mother and it would be easier to parent him because I had the support from his dad. I learned that getting married just because you are pregnant, doesn’t work. Four years later, I was divorced.

An unplanned pregnancy can sometimes put stress on an existing marriage. Marrying because of an unplanned pregnancy will undeniably add stress from the get go. The strain and stress of disagreements in a marriage can be hard on the baby as well. You also may feel that marriage may guarantee that your child would have an involved father, but it doesn’t necessarily guarantee that.

If you were already considering marriage or had marriage to your child’s father planned in your future then it may work, but don’t let sharing a child be your only reason for getting married.

5 Responses to “Should you get Married because you are Pregnant?”

  1. beth1962 says:

    Sometimes marriage isn’t always the
    best for the child, sometimes it can be.
    I guess it’s an individual thing.

    I married my husband in 1984,
    because I was pregnant and insisted on his help, with shotgun in hand, literally.
    Being an adoptee, and the time, i felt like I didn’t have a choice, having a baby at 22 alone… i just couldn’t see how it could work for me.
    I am certain we would not have married if I wasn’t pregnant. We learned to love each other, we agreed to keep our family intact, it was a contract for our child basically.
    I beleive if you have a child together,
    in a way it is a natural marriage of sorts anyway whether you like the guy or not, just just no contracts to sign, but connected forever.
    I was worried about marrying a guy I didn’t even really know that well, we had lived together for about 6 months.
    When I read our marriage vows, the first sentence says that marriage is for the procreation of children. So I figured i was on the right path.
    We’ll be celebrating 25 years in March, so maybe in our case it wasn’t such a bad
    move. Our kids seem to like it :)
    But maybe if it happened today, I wouldn’t feel like I HAD to get married as much as i did back then.

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