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I refused to watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager on ABC Family for the first two seasons. I really had no desire to sit through a long, drawn out storyline as to whether or not a teen girl who got pregnant would place the baby for adoption. Every time I saw someone mention the show online, the word adoption followed shortly behind. My head kind of exploded. Was a television show geared at teens going to make the decision to place look easy? Or downplay the grief and loss associated with relinquishment? Or ruin the process like every other movie or television show has done in the past?
Now she’s an overwhelmed, overtired teenage mom.
And I’m left thinking, “I don’t know. Maybe she should have placed.” Now, hear me out. I know that teen moms and dads are out there who do succeed at becoming great parents. That’s not the issue I’m taking with the show (like some others are). Instead, I wonder if this could have been the “it” show that showed adoption in a real light. And not even the adoption decision but the aftermath, the stuff that follows and breaks us to the core.
Likely not, being the fluffy ABC Family channel. They were likely never going to launch into a lengthy episodal debate on whether or not open adoptions should be legally binding. They were never going to show a teen mother contemplating suicide during the tumultuous hormonal shifts while her baby is gone. Or one turning to alcohol, drugs and sex. They would have likely shown us a mother who was happy and at peace with her decision. You know, like good teen girls who get pregnant but find a way “out of their mess” should be. Or, of course, they could have gone the other direction and shown a huge legal battle as the teen mom fights for her child, demonizing said mother for daring to exercise her rights and painting the process of open adoption as the evil of all adoption evils.
Why can’t we find a middle ground on television? Of course, a middle ground would show a birth mother who both was emotionally devastated and still finding her way through her life. That, of course, would upset different individuals for various reasons. The pro-adoption camp would say that we were being too negative while the anti-adoption camp would claim that we were being too positive. You can’t please anyone any of the time.
In the end, though, I’m pleased that she didn’t place. But I’m wondering if they don’t revisit the topic of adoption as things get tough with parenting. Should be interesting. (But I still won’t be watching.)
