Part 1

Guilt
We tend to feel guilty when we have violated rules and not lived up to the expectations of others and most often, even ourselves. You may be feeling guilty because you are in an unplanned pregnancy. You may feel guilty for things you have done or things you have not done.

How do you deal with guilt?

• Examine and analyze what is making you feel guilty. Is there anything you can do to change things? If you are feeling guilty because you are pregnant, then no, there is nothing you can do to change that. But if you are feeling guilty because you are not saving enough money, then there is something you could do to change that.



• Learn from your mistakes. Use the guilt you feel to learn a life lesson and resolve not to make the same mistakes again.



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• Respond rationally to your guilt. Do not go overboard or go to extremes in compensating for your feelings.

Fear
Fear is normal and healthy in moderation. Everyone becomes afraid of something during their life and has fears. Some fears are constant meaning we may be afraid of something our whole lives, while other fears are situational, meaning we are afraid of certain things during a particular time in our life.

During an unplanned pregnancy you may feel afraid of the unknown. Perhaps you fear making the wrong choice? Or maybe you are afraid you will not be a good mother? Those are all normal fears. Every new mother regardless of her circumstances fears making mistakes, being a bad mother, etc. It’s common and normal.

When you let your fears consume you and rule your life is when it becomes unhealthy.

Ways to help you conquer your fears:

• Validate your fears by acknowledging and recognizing them.



• Talk about your fears with others in similar situations. For instance, if you are afraid of making the wrong decision regarding parenting versus adoption, talk to others who have done both.



• Write about what you are afraid of and why you are afraid of it.

To be continued....