“Regret is insight that comes a day too late.”
~ Unknown

I think the question I probably get asked the most from both birthmothers and pregnant women considering adoption alike has to be “Do you regret your decision to place your baby for adoption?”
On the surface, one might think that question would have a simple yes or no answer. But oh boy, that’s a loaded question with a very complicated answer.

The way I look at it is that I made the best possible decision with the information I had at the time of Charlie’s birth. Had I had a crystal ball back then and the ability to see into the future, I wouldn’t have made that decision. But unfortunately, I don’t have magical powers and could only make the best decision at that moment in the past.

I don’t regret getting pregnant with Charlie, because in my opinion that would be like saying I regretted Charlie and I don’t for a minute. I regret the decisions that led up to my getting pregnant, but I don’t for a second regret having that little boy in my life. Even with the pain involved with adoption, I’m still blessed to have him in my life.

I do have some regrets about things that happened in my adoption plan, but again I was just doing what I thought was best at the moment. In hindsight, I really wish I’d given Charlie a name of my own choosing and I wish I’d spent more one on one time with him in the hospital.

But I can sit here all day and say “I wish I had….” and that’s not going to change the past. What’s done is done and I can only move forward in life into the future, not live in the past, and try to heal from the yesterdays and live for the tomorrows.

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Dealing with Doubt
Another Common Question: Did You See or Hold Your Baby in the Hospital?