The Elizabeth Samuels article on revocation periods continues to provide fascinating reading. (Abstract available here.) I think every single person touched by adoption ought to feel obligated to read this piece. You can order your copy of the full article here.

I plan to spend several posts covering the content, but want to begin with one of the least-known issues: the fact that most surrendering parents are not told, or do not sufficiently understand, that revoking a consent to adoption is highly conditional.

In other words, if you change your mind shortly after signing your baby away, the court isn’t necessarily going to return your child, no questions asked—even if your state’s laws do allow for time to reconsider. Instead, you may still have to prove your fitness in a “best interests” hearing.

At the stage in which you have already signed a consent to adoption, the court no longer assumes you are the best, most logical parent for your own child. And when you go up against the “stable,” “more settled” adopting parents, you probably won’t win. The other parents almost always look better on paper just by virtue of being (usually) older and married. And of course, they wanted this baby.

Funny how the simple act of considering adoption (formerly touted as the loving and mature thing to do) can become the sole fact that works against you if you realize you wish to parent.

Most first parents who try to contest an adoption lose. When they do win, it is not because the courts think they compare favorably to the adopting parents, but because they realize procedure was violated or because they are forced to admit that a serious ethical breach was made. However, even when the court does admit that the rights of the first parents were trampled, they still sometimes refuse to order the return of the child, because of their sympathy for the adopting parents and the belief that a baby very quickly bonds to its new parents.

For you as a pregnant woman, the point of all this is: if you have any doubts whatsoever, it is best not to sign. The adoption professionals may tell you that you must sign within a certain period, but this is not the case. They are only saying this because they want to adoption to take place as quickly as possible for the sake of their clients, the adopting parents.

You don’t want to keep your child waiting forever while you make up your mind, but a period of a few days to a few week is not unreasonable. Always remember that you can postpone your consent until you are ready…and sure.

Adoptions are supposed to be about finding homes for babies who need them, not awarding babies to parents who want them. However, as the numerous court cases cited by Professor Samuels show, American adoption practices are heavily slanted toward meeting the needs of adopting parents. For a surrendering parent, it doesn’t do much good to be offered time to reconsider if the odds are already stacked against your right to reclaim your child.