January 18th, 2007
Posted By:
Categories: General

Watch out, I think I am just in a mood lately! It seems like little comments people make are irking me more so than usual.

If I had a quarter for every time I’ve heard the phrase “I don’t know how you do it” or “I don’t know how you did it” or “I don’t know if I could do it if I were you,” I could take a really nice shopping spree to Paris! Oh, all the purses I could buy!

Ok, I’m getting off my point……

I probably hear this more often than the average birthmother, because not only am I a birthmother, I’m the mom to a special needs child granting-i-don-t-know-how-you-do-that me membership into two different “classes” for lack of a better term. Lucky me!


I don’t know why it is that this statement bothers me so much but it does. In regards to Noah, sometimes I have been known to respond by saying (and this all depends on my mood at the moment) “God didn’t call me up and ask me if I wanted to parent a special needs child, I do it because he is my child!” It’s like in my saints and sinners post, I’m not a saint, I’m just a girl doing the best thing for my children.

In regards to Charlie, I typically just say something like, “I did what I felt was the best thing for my child.” Once again, I’m just a girl doing the best thing for my children.

With the comment, “I don’t know if I could do it if I were you” I will sometimes respond with “And I hope you never have to,” because I sincerely do. I wouldn’t wish the heartache of placing your child for adoption to even my worst enemy,

I often wonder what people are expecting your response to be when they make a blanket statement like that. Are they expecting any response at all or are they just saying something without much thought because they don’t really know what to say?

6 Responses to “Ranting: I Don’t Know how you Do That”

  1. Theresa says:

    I get lots of comments also – although different from yours – but I think the same thing…maybe they are making these fairly absurd comments because they just don’t know what else to say?? I never have a great answer; I come up with whatever nonsense that comes from my own place of having nothing to say in return! lol. Then I get home and wonder….what sort of answer were they hoping for with questions like those??

  2. Coley S. says:

    I know Teresa, I will always think of brilliant things to say once I get home! LOL :)

  3. What I don’t get is why people feel they have to say anything at all. What can be wrong with just keeping your yap shut and your idiotic thoughts to yourself?

    Having a stranger approach just to say, “I don’t know how you could adopt those kids. I could NEVER do anything like that.” is one of those moments that happens far too often and always reduces my already fairly low stock in humanity.

    My response is never anything less than something like a snotty, “Well, thank goodness! I’ll worry less about the world’s children knowing that.”

    I’d really just like to slap the morons, though.

    (I’m afraid I caught your mood, Coley … )

  4. Ah, the dumb things people say. I need to wear ear plugs.

  5. lahdh4 says:

    If someone else tells me how “strong” I am, I will hit them. E said that yesterday and I looked at her and told her that if she didn’t stop using that word I was walking out and not coming back. That has become the stupidist word in the English language.

  6. Aurora says:

    I’m a new member and have two children adopted from birth, my oldest (5yr.), who’s birth mother is Moroccan but doesn’t look “ethnic” (whatever that is) and my youngest (3yr.) is African-Amer. If I hear the word SAINT one more time I think I am going to smack someon!

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