October 22nd, 2006
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While surfing the net recently, I came across a page on Adoption.com’s crisis pregnancy area. The page is a list of questions compiled by different birthmothers. They did not ask these questions while pregnant and making an adoption plan, but in hindsight wish they had. It’s a pretty good list and one I feel is worth sharing with you, as you may want to ask some of these questions yourself. Asking them may lessen the “what if” scenarios later on down the road post placement. The list contains questions to ask yourself, your parents, and the adoption agency, attorney, or social worker you may be working with.

I Should Have Asked:

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  • My parents if they would help me raise my baby.
  • If there was help for me, and what kind, if I chose to parent.
  • How adoptees feel about being adopted.
  • My daughter’s adoptive parents how they would talk about adoption to my daughter.
  • What happens when an open adoption turns closed.
  • If I could have spent more time with my baby in the hospital.
  • What semi-open really meant.
  • How my son’s adoptive parents’families felt about adoption.
  • If the adoptive parents would leave my involvement up to my son for, “When he’s ready to know we’ll tell him.”
  • Other birthmothers how hard the grieving would be.
  • Thhe agency who would be handling the correspondence between the adoptive parents and me and how they would handle it.
  • My counselor about helping my parents with their grief.
  • How to respond to people who criticized me for doing what I did.
  • What open, semi-open, and closed adoption really were in full definition and what was legally recognized by the state.
  • About support groups and help as I started planning my future.
  • What would happen if the adoptive parents starting having doubts about openness and who would help us through it.
  • If I could meet other birthmoms to talk to before placement

One Response to “Questions They Wish They had Asked”

  1. Marmy_4 says:

    Wow! This is an excelent list of things to find out before placing a child for adoption. Thanks for shareing!

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