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Yesterday I talked about some programs and places that exist to help you as you face an unplanned pregnancy. The truth is that no everyone is looking out for your best interests or even the best interest of your child. Knowing some things to avoid or some red flags to look for at places that should be beneficial to you might help you discern what is and is not a good program for you to utilize.
Red Flag #1:
They offer conditions to their help. If a pregnancy center will only help you if you attend their church for x-number of weeks, they are not worth your time. If an agency or attorney says that they will help you but only if you place your baby for adoption, run for the door. There are lots of other conditional helps that you should keep your eyes open for when seeking help. There are two conditions that you should accept, however:
- Staying clean during your pregnancy.
- Seeing a counselor/therapist in order to attain services
Both of those things can help you and your baby as you make these important decisions. Being of sound, sober mind not only protects your child but allows you to best consider what is and is not right for your situation. An unbiased counselor can also help you see the different shades of grey as you make these decisions.
Red Flag #2:
An agency, attorney, group or individual claims that they know a way “around” a certain law to help you. We often see this with unethical agencies and attorneys who are working in states that don’t allow financial help for mothers considering placement. This is a very important point: if they are willing to get around that law, they are willing to “get around” all sorts of other laws that could place you and your child in a bad situation, even a dangerous one. Again, run for the door.
Red Flag #3:
You are offered money for your child. This is illegal. It could land you and the people offering in jail. To boot, anyone that blatantly offers you money for your child isn’t concerned with laws or morals and may be tempted to do other things in order to secure your child.
Red Flag #4:
Someone takes an unhealthy interest in your child and offers a lot of unsolicited help. We all know the stories of baby-obsessed people who steal children from hospitals or, even worse, the wombs of mothers. The truth is that if you are living alone and seeking help, you could fall victim to someone who seems nice and helpful. I suggest that you don’t move in with anyone you don’t know, keep a record of who is helping you in a safe place and contact authorities if things start to get weird.
There are other red flags out there, of course. What are some other “red flag” situations that our readers know of when it comes to help during pregnancy?
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