So Iâ€™m reading the sad tale of Viktor Matthey, a little boy from Russia who was dealt two entirely lousy sets of parents, both birth and adoptive. His original parents were neglectful alcoholics, and his adoptive parents abused and murdered him.
Everybody failed him.
Itâ€™s already a horrible story on its own, but it was made worse when I came to this passage about the adoptive familyâ€™s home study. The Mattheys were people of modest meansâ€”that is, until they decided to adopt:
The Mattheys’ financial picture had apparently improved. They had reported Bob’s salary as $32,960 on their 1996 income tax return, $28,592 on their 1997 return, and $25,175 on their tax return for 1998, the year they began considering adoption. By September 1999, the Mattheys stated on their home study that Bob’s salary was $75,000 a year, according to a letter from his employer. The couple also declared Bob made $12,000 annually from snow plowing and auto repair, and that they owned investments worth $40,000.advertisement
The home study concluded the Mattheys were “loving, caring people,” and Bethany Christian signed off on them to adopt two males up to age 5.
Did their income really leap by such an enormous amount, or was somebody lying in order to get a child? (I suppose itâ€™s also possible they underreported on their taxes, but given what Iâ€™ve read about their world, I tend to think their income really was more in the 20K range. And for seven kids, this figure would not stretch far.)
But that’s a quibble compared to this: despite many inquiries about abuse in the Matthey home, a social workerâ€™s followup report on the childrenâ€™s progress indicated that all was smooth in the adoption.
“The children have benefited greatly from all the care and love given to them. This is evidenced by their socialization and affection toward each other. The children are very much loved and cared for.”
Yet the three adopted and four bio kids all complained of beatings, starvation, imprisonment, etc. Did the social worker ask them?
And then thereâ€™s this nugget, also from the home study:
The Mattheys â€śbelieve in the New Jersey State law concerning the use of passive means of discipline.”
(meaning no spanking or physical punishment.) Excuse me – how do we get from nonviolence to a cat-o’-nine-tails? Isnâ€™t it possible to check a little harder?
Typically, reams of paperwork must be filled out in order to adopt a child, and many agencies do a good job of verifying and authenticating the facts that potential adoptive parents provide. But this agency did notâ€”and then they compounded the error by doing shoddy followup work.
You may be wondering, why is Heather even talking about this? What does an international adoption gone wrong have to do with me, a pregnant women considering adoption in the United States? My point is this: When you are entrusting your baby to others, unfortunately you cannot trust everything the â€śprofessionalsâ€ť tell you. The people in charge sometimes screw up, whether itâ€™s human error or a more sinister motive of ensuring results for clients.
This is by no means the first time I have heard of a home study containing false or misleading information. Apparently, certain agencies are more concerned about fulfilling the expectations of paying clients than making sure the intended home is good enough for the child.
As expectant parents considering adoption, we make our choices about who to entrust with our children based in part on this kind of information. We trust that theyâ€™ve checked. Adoptive parents often complain about how onerous it is to fill out such paperwork, but think about it from our point of viewâ€”would you trust YOUR child to a lifetime with strangers without requiring some pretty substantive background checks?
When home studies fail, as they sometimes do, it is heartbreaking for those who place their children based on faulty information. But it is most tragic for the children that are sent into homes that in no way resemble what was described on paper.
As a pregnant woman considering adoption, this is one more reason to avoid closed adoption and to get to know the adopting parents yourself. Throughout the process, trust your own instincts, not those of paid middlemen. They can and do mess up.