July 24th, 2007
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“She won’t always be 16, but she will always be Austin’s mother.”

I was half paying attention to an old Judging Amy re-run on television the other day, when I heard one of the characters, Maxine (who is a social worker) say the above quote. I really hadn’t been paying too much attention to the show but the quote caught my attention. The quote was said by Maxine to the judge on the behalf of a young mother who I can only assume was on the verge of having her parental rights terminated by the court.

That quote just jumped out at me and got stuck in my head. It made a lot of sense to me and it can apply to many different situations, possibly one of yours.


* I may not always be unemployed, but I will always be my child’s mother.
* I may not always be unmarried, but I will always be my child’s mother.
* I may not always be in school, but I will always be my child’s mother.
* I may not have my own home, but I will always be my child’s mother.

Often times, adoption can be seen as a permanent solution to a temporary problem temporary circumstances. Adoption and the relinquishment of your parental rights is forever, but some variables can change, such as being single, still being in school, being young, not having a job, not having your own place to live, etc. All of those variables can change. You will grow older. You may meet Mr. Right next week. You could get your dream job next month. You could graduate from school next year. You might be able to afford your own apartment soon.

All of those variables can change and improve – but you will forever be your child’s mother.

Other Things to Think About:
Getting Married because You are a Pregnant
Two Parent Families

7 Responses to “Permanent Solution to Temporary Circumstances”

  1. This is SUCH an important thing for expectant parents to keep in mind as they make those big decisions.

  2. Jan Baker says:

    Great reminder Coley! Circumstances can and often do change quickly.

  3. happygmom says:

    I love the respectfil title of this blog. I have seen this sentiment phrased as a “permanent solution to a temporary problem”. Temporary “circumstances” is infinity more respectful to families who go through the throes of making decisions about unplanned pregnancies. Calling a child a “problem” is demeaning to the child and dismissive to the feelings that the family have for thier new family member.

    I agree with your blog. Circumstancs do change.


  4. Coley S. says:

    Thanks Janet. I view it in a similar way as you do – the baby isn’t the problem. The problem is that you are going to have a baby when the cirumstances in your life might not be the best at that moment, but circumstances do change.

  5. happygmom says:

    Coley – yes that is exactly what I was trying to say – beautifully stated. Thank you!


  6. Coley S. says:

    Thanks Janet and Lisa!

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