Are you considering an open adoption plan for your unborn baby? I remember when I first heard of open adoption. Charlie’s adoptive mother, A, was actually the person who explained open adoption to me. There was so much I didn’t know about open adoption and honestly, I’m still learning things about open adoption. We kind of figure it out as we go along.


I’ve been living in an open adoption for over six years now. We’ve done some things correctly and we’ve made our share of mistakes too. Over the years, I’ve also gotten to know other birthmothers and adoptive parents who are participating in open adoptions too. I’ve seen some open adoptions work out pretty smoothly and sadly, I’ve seen some others fail.



Before you begin trying to make an open adoption plan, give some thought to exactly what you are wanting. I’d even suggest making a list and go so far as to note things that you absolutely will not bend on and then note the things that you could compromise on if you had to.


If possible, you may want to leave some room for flexibility in your open adoption as well. You may think that you are going to want “X” number of visits per a year but after your baby is born, find out that your previously desired amount is either too many/too much. You never really know how you are going to feel until you are actually there living it.


Also, every time I write about open adoption I feel it necessary to remind you that open adoption isn’t legally enforceable. That said, I’d still suggest writing (with the prospective adoptive parents and the agency/attorney’s assistance) a post adoption contact agreement. Although not legally enforceable, I still think they help everyone get on the same page contact wise.



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Related Posts:
Post Adoption Contact Agreements
Ongoing Contact
Open Adoption