When you are considering making an adoption plan or if you are actively participating in making one, you will begin to think about openness and the amount of openness and contact you may want in an adoption plan. There’s a lot to think about!

So I thought it might be wise to go over some of the things you should think about. When you are in the midst of making an adoption plan it can be overwhelming and your mind may skip over some of the details. Aspects of the list below are not for everyone and are personal decisions that you must make regarding what you foresee working for you in an adoption plan.

Once you have discussed ongoing contact with the particular adoptive family you have chosen, you may wish to put it in writing in a post adoption contact agreement. Read previous posts for more information on those.

Exchange of information – This will typically depend on the type of adoption you are hoping for but in fully disclosed open adoptions, addresses, first and last names, phone numbers, etc. are typically shared. You should be willing to share whatever information you are asking of the prospective adoptive parents with them as well.

Visits – If you are planning an open adoption that includes visits there will be lots to think about!

• How soon after the baby is born do you want to begin visiting him or her?



• How often will you want to visit with your child?



• Will the visits continue over the years or do you just want to visit until a certain age?



• Where will the visits take place? You’re home, adoptive parents home, or a neutral location such as a restaurant, park, or mall.



• Will you bring other people with you on the visits?

Phone calls:

• Who should do the calling?



• How often should phone calls occur?



• Do you wish to speak with your child when he or she is old enough?

Pictures:

• How often do you want to receive pictures?



• How do you want to receive the pictures? In the mail, email, on a cd, etc.

Letters/Emails: I lumped this one together since in today’s technology era a lot of communication between adoptive families and birth parents takes place via email. It’s a quick and easy way to communicate.

• Do you want update letters or emails to accompany pictures?



• How often do you want to communicate via email?

I’ve briefly outlined some of the different aspects of ongoing contact that you may want to give some thought too as you are thinking about adoption. Keep in mind that your feelings over the years may change, life gets busy, etc. so leave a little room for flexibility!

And as always, keep in mind that open adoptions are not legally enforceable.