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In my last post, I talked about birthfather involved. Since I did not have the involvement of Charlie’s birthfather in my own adoption experienced, I asked a fellow birthmother, Kim*, to share her story of how her daughter’s birthfather was positively involved during the pregnancy. Kim leaned on her boyfriend, Rick*, for support throughout her pregnancy and after relinquishment.
In early 2002, Kim and Rick were living together when Kim discovered that she was pregnant. Initially they were going to parent, but ultimately decided that adoption would be the best answer for their child due to medical problems. Kim’s boyfriend Rick was very involved in the adoption process. He found the agency that they decided to work with and when they began looking through profiles of adoptive parents, they looked through them separately and chose their top three. One of the couples was in both of their top three and after meeting with that couple; they together decided that they would be the couple who would adopt their baby.
Kim says Rick was as supportive as possible during her pregnancy.
“He was so sweet during the pregnancy, calling to check on me through out the day, when I was on bed rest, stopping to bring me a chocolate bar or something I was craving. He went to almost all of the doctor appointments with me. He’d give me back rubs at night. ”
When Kim started having contractions, Rick was the first person she called. He got off work and took her to the hospital where he stayed by her side the entire time she was in labor.
Kim and Rick broke up about a year after their daughter was born and placed into an open adoption. Although, they are no longer romantically involved, they have remained good friends and they still go visit their daughter together.
“Rick and I will always have a bond and a connection because we created a child together and went through something as life altering as placing a child for adoption together. I’m glad that he was able to stand by my side during the pregnancy. I really don’t think I could have done this without him. “
Thank you Kim for sharing your story with us!
In my next post, I’ll discuss a few of the ways an involved expectant father can help out during a pregnancy.
* Names have been changed
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More on Expectant Fathers and Birthfathers:
Expectant Fathers
How to Tell Your Baby’s Dad you are Pregnant
Father’s Rights in Crisis Pregnancies
Birth Father Rights
