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It’s a topic we re-visit from time to time: naming your baby. I advise mothers considering adoption to name their child. If you aren’t learning the gender of the baby until birth, go ahead and pick a name for each gender. Pick a first name. Pick a middle name. Name the baby after your grandma, your best friend or yourself. The point is: name your baby.
Why?
Some agencies will tell you that names aren’t important. They will tell you that naming your baby will cause you to be too attached, making it harder for you to separate upon birth. What they’re doing is trying to make it easier for the adoptive parents to name the baby what they have chosen. That shouldn’t interfere with your right to name your baby.
After the birth of your child, you will be required to fill out the birth certificate information. While this original birth certificate (OBC) will eventually be sealed upon the finalization of the adoption, adoptees are continuing to fight for access. When your child turns eighteen, there is a chance that she could have access to her OBC, depending on state laws and how far we have come in the meantime. While some adoptees don’t like that they had a different original name, some find that it fits them better.
If you are matched with an adoptive family, the name issue will arise. Chances are that the adoptive parents have names that they adore. The adoptive parents do have the right to change the child’s name upon adoption. I will tell you this: if you are 100% set on your child retaining the name which you have chosen and the adoptive parents won’t budge, choose a different family. If you cannot come to an agreement on something as simple as a name, you are going to find the challenges of open adoption to be impassable. There are families who will respect your name choices.
Whatever the case, allow yourself to name your child and to bond in that matter. Someday, when your child asks, “What did you name me? And why?,” you can have an answer.
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