So you are pregnant and making an adoption plan. You’ve chosen a prospective family and you are about to meet them face to face for the first time. Your heart is beating, your palms are sweaty, and your mouth is dry. You are a bundle of nerves! You feel like a schoolgirl on your first date. You are about to meet the people who
may raise your baby.

I remember nervously getting ready to meet my son’s adoptive parents. I had met them previously as I was a waitress at the restaurant they frequently ate lunch at, but this was a much more important meeting. I would be visiting their home, having dinner with them, and getting to know them on a more intimate level to see if they were the type of people I wanted to raise my baby. I was so nervous but it was a good visit and I felt so at ease and relaxed in their home. I played Candyland with their daughter as they finished cooking steaks on the grill. After dinner, we adults talked about the important things, and I realized that we were all on the same page with what we wanted in an adoption agreement. I left there feeling a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders as I finally had chosen parents for my baby!

The first thing I always tell expectant mothers meeting prospective adoptive parents for the first time is to remember that while you may feel nervous, they are just as nervous as you are.

If you are doing an adoption through an agency, often a birthmother counselor will be there to help mediate the visit. She can help you ask your questions and fill the silence when no one knows quite what to say. Usually with agency adoptions, you will meet the prospective adoptive parents at the agency.

If you are doing a private or independent adoption, it might be a good idea to bring along a supportive family member or friend with you who can help you ask questions and feel less nervous. Usually with private adoptions, you may choose the location to meet. A restaurant, public park, mall, or other location may be a good neutral location to meet at.

If you have specific questions you want to ask the prospective adoptive parents, it might be a good idea to write them down and bring them with you so that you don’t forget any of them during your jitters.

Relax and be yourself and keep in mind, they are just as nervous as you!