So you have decided to make an adoption plan and are moving forward with it. As your belly grows bigger, your due date grows closer. The upcoming hospital experience is going to be here soon and as a potential birthmother it is something you need to think about it.

A few things to think about prior to going to the hospital:

• Who do I want to be there with me while in labor? You may feel obligated to have the prospective adoptive parents in the labor and delivery room. This choice is totally up to you. It is your labor and delivery experience and they will understand if it is easier on you not to have them in the room. However, if you are comfortable having them there with you, then by all means, go for it! It will be a neat story to share with your child some day. You should also give a little thought to what you might do if the need for a c-section arrives. With my birthson’s birth, I had to have an emergency c-section and had to make a pretty quick decision of who I wanted in the operating room with me. Generally speaking, most hospitals only allow one support person in the operating room.



• Who do I want to visit me while in the hospital? After I gave birth to Charlie, I had many visitors. Many of my friends and family came to visit us as well as members of the adoptive family. We had a constant and steady stream of visitors. I don’t have many regrets about my adoption plan, but this is one of them. I wish I had not had so many visitors and more one on one time with my son, so give this careful thought.



• Do I want to hold and spend time with my baby? Do I want my baby to room in with me? I firmly believe you have to “say hello” before you can say goodbye and encourage you to spend loving on your baby. Although some birthmothers have felt that would have been too hard on them and I totally respect that. It’s totally your decision – but something to think about.



• What momentos do I wish to keep from the hospital? The crib card, your baby’s little hat, and sometimes the first blanket, are typically things that new parents are given as keepsakes for their babies. It is your choice if you wish to save these or pass them on to the adoptive parents. Many hospitals nowadays will give you two sets of these keepsakes if you ask for them.



• When do I wish to sign the relinquishment papers? Some birthmothers sign the relinquishment papers in the hospital while others choose to sign them at the agency or an attorney’s office. Laws vary from state to state on how long after birth you have to wait before signing these papers so be sure to talk this over with the adoption professionals you are working with so it does not sneak up on you.



• How do I want to leave the hospital? You may wish to leave at the same time as your baby or you may wish to leave before or after him/her. Some birthmothers want to actually place the baby in the adoptive parents’ arms while others see this as being too emotional.

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Wishing all of you an easy and pain free (ok, as close as you can get to that) delivery!