Love Thursday - what a great way to take a break from all the seriousness of my normal posts.

Here are side-by-side shots of my son and I, taken when we were both 2. (He's 8 now.) We look pretty similar, yes? What I like about these pictures is that they show the undeniable tie between birthparents and their children. We have certain links that no one can take away.



The next photo is another favorite, because it shows how much I love him--although it makes me a little sad, too, because at this point in our story, he had no idea who I was. Still, it's a photo I like and am happy to have. I'll always be grateful to his Mom for taking it.



Of course, I wouldn't be me if I didn't try to work some cautionary advice into this post. My advice around pictures is this: trust me, you have no idea how important they will become to you, after surrender. If you don't have visits, they will be your only tie to your child. You will become fanatical about pictures.

Photos are often a huge point of contention between birth and adoptive parents. For whatever reason, you don't always get what you were promised. That's why it's a good idea to spend some time NOW clarifying what you will receive. You may even want to get it in writing, although this is not enforceable. That may seem pushy and unnecessary, but it can save you some heartbreak down the road. It's all in how you propose it - if you frame it like a pledge or a promise rather than a contract, it's nicer, and likelier to be accepted.

Really, I can't stress enough how much you will live through pictures, if you decide to choose adoption. They will become your most treasured possessions. Understand that now!

Happy Thursday to you and yours.