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If you are pregnant and making an adoption plan, one thing that you may need to prepare for is how you plan to leave the hospital. You want to give these things some thought now as you may be pretty emotional when you are discharged from the hospital, especially if your baby is going directly home with his/her adoptive parents.
Also, you’re baby doesn’t have to leave the hospital immediately with the adoptive parents if you need more time to think through your decision or you want to try parenting, then you can of course take your baby home with you. If your baby will be leaving with you, don’t forget that you will need a car seat for the baby. Most hospitals will not let you leave with the baby until they have verified that you have a car seat.
You will not be able to drive yourself home, so be sure that someone is there with you to drive.
For some birthmothers, when they leave the hospital is important to them. For example, one birthmother didn’t want to leave the hospital before her baby as she said she would feel like she was abandoning her baby. So, she had his adoptive parents take him and leave, waited a little bit, and then left after him.
Also, keep in mind that when you and your child leave is dependent upon how each of you are doing physically. Sometimes the baby may have to be in the hospital longer than the mother and vice versus.
Have a plan as to where you are going when you leave the hospital. Will you be going home to your own place or staying with someone else for a few days? I know several mothers who didn’t want to go home and be alone, so they stayed with family members or friends for a few days.
This will be an emotional time and preparing ahead of time is helpful.
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Related Posts:
Creating a Birth Plan
Hospital Series
I felt really bad for our daughter’s birthmother. Her husband, not the father, kept saying, just sign the D#* paper and lets get out of here. I know she didn’t grieve her loss then. I hope she has been able to work through it in the past 21 months.
Aw, Julia, that’s terrible!
Coley; Please instruct your readers to contact their individual hospital for more specific instruction on leaving the hospital. For example, I HAD to leave the hospital at the same time as my daughter, carrying her out (not the adoptive parents), or it would be considered abandonment even though the adoptive family was present.
One more piece of advice for your readers: if you don’t have a car seat, many hospitals will provide one for you so do NOT let be the reason that you don’t take your child home with your permanently or for whatever amount of time you need to appropriately make your decision.
Oh wow Jenna – I didn’t realize that some hospitals would make you leave at the same time as your baby! That seems very insensitive of them but I guess it’s part of their protocol, like riding in a wheelchair.
Yes, readers, ask the hospital you will be delivering at about their procedures and rules. If you pre-register at your hospital, you could ask them then so you it isn’t sprung on you at the last minute.
While I was in the hospital, not only did they require that my daughter stay the night alone in another room with the a-parents the second night, but I had to leave before them. At first the wanted me to leave the morning after her birth, but I told them I was in pain. It was an exaggeration, but it gave my just a little bit more time with her.