e-mail
In my last post, I introduced you to Lois Lodge, a home for women in unplanned pregnancies with nowhere to go. In this post, I’d like to introduce you to Leah, a young mother who stayed at Lois Lodge during her pregnancy.
In June of 2006, Leah discovered she was pregnant for the second time in her life. At sixteen, Leah experienced her first unplanned pregnancy and placed that baby for adoption. When she discovered she was pregnant the second time, she and her boyfriend, Mark were very shocked. They were concerned at what their families and friends would think and they were still in college and were unsure how they would afford college and a baby.
It was very hard in the beginning, a lot of pain because of what we had done to put ourselves and our families in this situation. And for me, because I had already been pregnant once, it was especially hard to deal with my parents and their disappointment and anger.
Leah eventually ended up moving into Lois Lodge because she felt she had no where else to go. Her family was angry and disappointed in her. Her boyfriend’s parents mentioned she might be able to live with them but changed their minds after thinking about it more. Mark and his family had just moved to the same city Lois Lodge was in.
So, when I knew I HAD to move, it became a matter of bettering myself. I decided to go to Lois Lodge because it was a chance for me to become more independent, a chance for me and Mark to grow as a couple, and most importantly, a way to help me be the best mom I could be.
Leah describes the environment at Lois Lodge as being very “homey.” At Lois Lodge, she shared a room with a room mate, had rules to follow, did chores, was expected to keep her room clean, participate in Bible studies, etc. The staff at Lois Lodge helped Leah get Medicaid to cover her medical bills and locate a good doctor. They also hooked her up with a temporary agency which helped her land an awesome job that ended up lasting through most of her stay at Lois Lodge and her pregnancy.
While a resident at Lois Lodge, one of the biggest challenges for Leah was maintaining her relationship with Mark. Not that she and Mark had problems, they were as strong as ever through this time, but the rules at Lois Lodge made it very difficult for them to see one another and for Mark to be as involved throughout the pregnancy as they had hoped he could be.
According to the rules, Mark and I were only allowed to see each other if we were going to church or another event the helped us toward our future (such as a parenting class or counseling, etc.), no dating allowed, this obviously limited us a great deal because these type of “events” didn’t happen often. We weren’t going to do anything bad, not going off to have sex or anything; we just wanted to see each other to encourage each other and to experience the pregnancy together, this was my baby’s father and the man I was going to marry.
While at Lois Lodge, Leah was also able to take childbirth classes and learn more about parenting and breastfeeding. She also was connected with a mentor that helped her and took her out once a week.
My mentor was wonderful and helped me with decisions and sort things out emotionally/mentally. She ended up giving me the nursery furniture her children had outgrown!
Leah stayed at Lois Lodge for seven months and left in January of 2007. She moved in with Mark and his parents a bit before her due date so that she could set up her baby’s nursery and relax a little bit before her baby was born.
Leah and Mark’s daughter, Savannah, was born at the end of February. Leah and Mark were married this past May and Leah is currently a full time college student studying English.
In conclusion, I asked Leah if she had any advice for other women in unplanned pregnancies.
Definitely surround yourself with support! The beginning of my pregnancy was very rough with my family, so the support of my friends was VERY important to keep from sinking too low emotionally.
Don’t stay in a relationship that doesn’t work and that isn’t healthy. I’ve been through two unplanned pregnancies, both very different in every way except both being beautiful girls. I know the joys of an open adoption and parenthood, each beautiful and tough in their own way. I know the pain of being “alone” in a pregnancy without the father around and I also know being able to share the pregnancy with a father who wants to be there.
Think about things thoroughly, a baby is a huge responsibility.
Leah also advises that if living in a maternity home is something that you are considering, to research it well.
See the home and talk with the girls before hand if possible. Also, some homes pressure girls to place their children for adoption, so be careful of homes that seem to be ‘bias’ in that sense, just as you would be careful with adoption agencies.
Thank you Leah for sharing your story with us!
–
Other Programs Similar to Lois Lodge:
House of Courage in Tennessee
Christmas Village in Mississippi
Refuge Home in Illinois
Real Alternatives in Pennsylvania
Great story, awesome outcome.
Thank you Sue!