e-mail
Last year I did a series on the birth parent blog regarding all 50 state’s laws as to how they treat open adoption contracts. In case you are not aware: open adoptions are not legally binding in all states. When I placed my daughter for adoption, I was not given that very important bit of information. I have since made it my goal to make sure that all expectant parents considering placement know that they might not have any legal recourse should the adoptive parents choose to close the adoption.
So, what does it mean when I say that an open adoption is not legally binding in all states?
It simply means that once the adoption is finalized (or, in some states, as soon as the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) is signed), the adoptive parents could fall off the face of the Earth and you, as the birth parent, would have no legal recourse to enforce the adoptive parents to follow through with what they promised. I know too many birth parents who have had this happen to them, either immediately (showing that the adoptive family had no intention of following through with promises) or years later when the going got too tough.
But why do some states offer legally binding contracts and others do not?
The truth is that all states have their own laws regarding what is and is not permissible in adoption (and all other issues). What is legal in one state may not be legal in another. When it comes to adoption, this can get very confusing especially if the birth parent lives in one state and the adoptive parents live in another.
So what can be done?
Some birth and adoptive parents who live in states where open adoptions are not legally enforceable have signed Good Faith Agreements. And, still, even those can be broken. In the end, even states with legally binding contracts find issue when an adoptive parent wants to close the adoption. Birth parents are usually left without a legal leg to stand on.
And so why am I telling you this?
I have such a passion for telling expectant parents this information because I wasn’t afforded the same courtesy. Knowing this information could have drastically altered many decisions. I am beyond lucky and blessed that I happened to choose a family who was not only ethical but continues to have the best interest of their daughter at heart. If I had chosen another family, one who wasn’t as ethical or didn’t have the ability to make it through the harder times, my story would be greatly different. As such, I want expectant parents to know that open adoptions simply aren’t legally binding. Once your name is on that dotted line, you give up the ability to make decisions not only for your child but for the continuance of a relationship that you are banking on being a lasting one.
I hope that with that information in mind, you can ask the appropriate questions of any potential adoptive family you are working with or interviewing. Putting people on the spot and asking the hard questions will help you get a better understanding as to whether or not this family is right for you and your child.
better