My name is Coley and I’m proud to be AdoptionBlogs newest blogger.

About 5 years ago, I left the health department, single and pregnant, feeling like a failure for the 2nd time in my life. When I was 19 years old, I became pregnant and forced myself into a loveless marriage because I thought it would be the best thing for my child to have two parents living together. Noah was born in 1996. He had a lot of complications at birth and was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and epilepsy. His father and I had married for all the wrong reasons, trying to do what we thought was best for our child and the difficulty of parenting a child with special needs was more strain than our marriage could handle and we split up.

To leave the health department a 2nd time at age 24, knowing once again, being pregnant was not really a good thing was a horrible feeling. I had been on the depo-provera shot (birth control) which was practically fool proof, but a few days later an ultrasound showed I was nearly 5 months pregnant!!

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My life was out of control– Noah was living with my parents, I hardly saw him as I could barely keep my head above water working and dealing with life. As a waitress at a local restaurant, one of my “regulars” was a happily married couple, Scott and Angee. At lunch one day I told them I was pregnant and they congratulated me and when I explained that this wasn’t really a good thing and that I was thinking of adoption – they shocked me by explaining that their daughter (whom I’d always assumed was biological because she had the same blonde hair and blue eyes as her Mom) was adopted. They casually mentioned that they were hoping to adopt again. They gave me their phone numbers and said that if I needed to talk or had any questions about adoption to just give them a call.

A day later, I did call. I talked with Angee for awhile and got to know her better. Angee had explained to me how their daughter, Natalie, has always known that she was adopted and that she grew in another lady's tummy. She also explained open adoption, which at that point, was a foreign concept to me. The idea of being able to place my baby in a stable 2 parent home yet still maintain some form of contact was very appealing to me. It was then that I realized in my heart that this was what God intended for me to do and it would be the best thing for my baby.

On September 20, 2001, our son, Charlie made his grand entrance into the world – 4 weeks early! He was healthy, yet small, and very loved by both his birth family and adoptive family! I spent time with him in the hospital – cuddling with him, talking to him, feeding him – doing all the things any new mother does. The day I signed the relinquishment papers and left the hospital empty handed was the hardest day of my life.

It’s hard to believe Charlie will turn 5 years old this fall. The past 5 years, Charlie’s adoptive family has become more of an extended family to me. We’ve shared birthdays, exchanged Christmas presents, and been there for each other. Open adoption is hard – I don’t think it makes my adoption any easier but I chose open for Charlie. So he knows where he comes from, who to come to when he has questions, etc.

Since Charlie’s birth, I have become active in the adoption community. I co-founded BirthMom Buds (a website and not for profit organization for birthmothers and pregnant women considering adoption) with another birthmother, Lani D. I have had the pleasure of writing and sharing my adoption story in many different venues. To learn more about me, read my bio or check out BirthMom Buds.

I look forward to many more posts and interacting with all of you!