I’ve mentioned before that a lot of expectant mothers considering adoption will ask me questions pertaining to how I have felt regarding certain aspects of adoption. One of the most popular questions, that I blogged about before, is “Do you regret adoption?” Second to that question, I get the question “How did you know adoption was the right decision for you?”

Again, not an easy question to answer. There is no way in the world to know for sure if adoption is the best decision for you. It’s a decision made blindly because even if you talk to every birthmom in your state, you still will not know for sure how you will feel post relinquishment because while birthmothers may have some of the same underlying feelings, each situation and the circumstances surrounding it are surely different.

I believe in order to make the most informed decision possible; you should look at both your options very seriously. Check out parenting, whether you will be single parenting or sharing the duties with a partner, explore the resources available to you in your community. There might be more available for you then you realize. Think about the changes you will need to make in your life once your baby comes home. Think about the added responsibilities that will be added to your life once your little baby enters the world. Talk with other single parents or parents who were in similar positions to yours and see how they made it through the tough times.

After exploring parenting, explore adoption and the adoption related resources that may be available to you and/or your baby’s father. Think about what type of contact post adoption you would hope for and if you’d rather have a private adoption, agency adoption, and so on. Seek out birthmothers and talk to them and see how they made it through it. Begin to think about what qualities you may like in a prospective adoptive family for your baby. Learn about the grieving process of relinquishing a child and loosing your motherhood.

After you have explored both options thoroughly, you can go back to the important question at hand, “Is adoption right for me and my baby?” You will never get a one hundred percent yes answer either way, but hopefully exploring your options will help guide you as to which choice may work the best for you, your baby, and your present circumstances.