“You must say hello before you can say goodbye.”

I am a very firm believer in this statement, although I’d never force seeing her baby on any expectant mom making an adoption plan, but I think that if you do not spend time with your baby while in the hospital you might regret it later. I don’t know any birthmother who regrets the time she spent with her baby. In fact, I regret not spending enough one on one time with Charlie.

Why would a placing mother not want to see or spend time with her baby? Perhaps she thinks that spending time with her baby will make letting go more difficult. Regardless of whether you spend time with your baby in the hospital or not, relinquishment is difficult. Spending time with your baby will give you some memories too look back on.

What should you do during this special time with your baby?

Count her fingers and toes like any other new mother. Sing to your baby. Feed your baby a bottle. Change your baby’s dirty diapers. Dress your baby in a special outfit. Take a gazillion pictures of the two of you together. Spoil your baby. Love on your pray. Pray with and for your baby. Read a book or a letter you wrote ahead of time to your baby. Give your baby a special stuffed animal. Smother your baby with hugs and kisses. Video some of your time with your baby. Talk to your baby and tell him/her how much you love him.

It’s really not so much what you are physically doing with your baby, but the time spent with your baby that you will cherish. This is YOUR time with your baby, so kick others out of the room and spend some one on one time just you and your baby.


--
Other Posts in this Series:
Hospital Series Introduction
Labor Support Person
Creating a Birth Plan
Prospective Adoptive Parents in the Delivery Room
Visitors in the Hospital
Packing Your Bag