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As I conclude this hospital series, I think I should give some space to leaving the hospital. Leaving the hospital was emotional for me as I felt like in some ways I was also leaving my son. We had spent those three days together in the hospital and I knew that we would no longer be together once I walked through the big double doors.
Give some thought to how you will be leaving the hospital when it is time to go home. Will the baby be leaving the hospital with you or going with the adoptive parents? Do you wish to leave at the same time as the adoptive parents?
Also, as you are preparing to leave the hospital, the issue of when and where you are going to sign the papers terminating your parental rights. In some states, it is common practice to have the placing mother sign the papers terminating her parental rights right there in the hospital. I signed them on the table that pulls across the bed while sitting in the hospital bed. I did not know that you didn’t have to sign the papers there but I am telling you now, you do not HAVE to sign the papers there. I now feel that these papers are so important and life altering that they should be signed from at least an attorney’s office if not a courtroom. Also, I should point out here that when and where you sign can sometimes be determined by the state you give birth in. Some states dictate that you can not sign until a certain amount of time has passed or that you must sign in a courtroom before a judge.
You will not be in condition to drive yourself home, so make sure that you have a friend or family member there to drive you home.
If your baby is going to be leaving the hospital with you, make sure that you have a car seat for the baby. Most hospitals nowadays will not let you leave the hospital unless you have a car seat properly installed in your car.
You have just had a baby and your body may be tired and feel a little worn so try to make sure you have some healthy food for you when you get home. You probably won’t feel like food shopping right away.
If you will be leaving the hospital without your baby, be prepared for this to be very emotional. I know that may seem like a given fact, but I have heard several birthmothers comment that they had not expected it to be so hard as they had tried to prepare themselves for that moment during their pregnancy but I don’t think any amount of preparation will make that moment any easier.
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Other Posts in this Series:
Hospital Series Introduction
Labor Support Person
Creating a Birth Plan
Prospective Adoptive Parents in the Delivery Room
Visitors in the Hospital
Packing Your Bag
Spending Time with Your Baby
Memorabilia
Um, I just wanted to give a head’s up. The hospital that I delivered at, could not give me the bands for the baby. It’s hospital policy that they be cut off when the baby is leaving the hospital to make sure that it is the right baby. The hospital places two, one is given to the family and the other goes to state to prove that it matched the one that was on “Mom” when they left the hospital. I choose to leave the hospital before the adoptive family left so I wasn’t able to get the one she wore. Thought I would let someone else know before they were at the hospital and told no, cause you have already given up so much kinda is hard to hear no.