I think having these hospital items are very important for a birthmother.
Here's my story. March of 2006, I found out I was pregnant. Scared, really scared of raising a third child I immediately asked a friend to adopt my baby. (I have 2 older boys 7 and 14. Their father is not around after we divorced.)
My friend was fully involved and we considered this child hers from the beginning. She called all the shots.
Then the baby was born. What a beautiful moment. When my son was placed on my stomach I for the first time realized that he was mine. I never looked at him as mine before.
My son went home with the prospective adoptive parents and I went home to mother the two boys I had. I was a WRECK. WHAT HAD I DONE! I wanted my baby! I didn't want to tear my friends dream apart. I couldn't do anything but cry and hate myself. I wasn't there for my two boys at home.
The guardian at liedem for my son, told me I was too unstable to give my son up and had to retalk with the adoption agency. My doctor told me he was MY SON and if I needed him home I should get him. The adoption councelor then told me that I was the right decision for my son.
I had a choice....my son or my friends. I chose my son! We are happy as can be. He has done wonders for my family. My other two boys are the best brothers anyone could ask for.
Now...now I live with guilt. Guilt from what I ALMOST did and guilt from what I have done to my friend and her family.
Everything from the hospital was given to her. I was suppose to get a copy, but the hospital only made 1 set of pictures, crib card, etc. She is refusing to give this stuff to me. I have anger here because I feel it does belong to me. She technically was only a foster for for this child, the adoption had never even gone to court. My son should have this stuff for his baby book etc. She is only hurting him in the long run-right?
I have had to put up with much critism from her friends and family. From rude remarks, to prank phone calls. I'm accused of stealing their baby. All this has reassured me I made the right choice. How could I put a child into an enviroment that acts like this.
I feel the adoption agency should assist me more in getting this stuff back. But it's almost as if they are done with me. How nice they were when I was giving my child up, but now....now they don't want to deal with me.
Sooo, my point.....get the copies from the hospital in YOUR HANDS. Even if you do feel adoption is the best choice for you, you can always give this stuff to your child later in life.

I have J's crib card with her footprints on it. Ultrasound pictures, my bracelets, her hat, blanket and bottle from when I fed her. If she ever asks me about these things I have them for her. But I needed to be selfish and have these for me. Noone else and especially not the aparents. These were my memories and I don't/didn't want to share them.

Roni,

I'm glad you chose your son over your friends!

I'm sorry that your friend is holding onto all your son's hospital stuff! That doesn't make a lot of sense to me as to why she would unless it's just to be mean.

You and your son are very lucky that you had the support you did and a guardian ad litem was appointed.

You have what's important: your son and the rest of your lives together a s healthy, cohesive family. You'll have lots more photos of him as well.

Try to let go of your former friends, the bits of memorabilia and enjoy what you have! As for your anger, you are using it wisely -- channeling it in places like this where sharing your story might help others not as lucky as you, and stand as a warning for those about to make a simialarly disastrous decision.

PS They were never your friends...friends do not seek to take advantage of and benefit from another's difficult times. Their reluctance to turn over your and your son's property is spiteful and vindictive -- let them go and good riddance...and the same for any who take their side.

Thank you for your uplifting comments.
I teach my son's that there is always a positive in everything and to focus on that. Yet, I find it hard sometimes myself to do. As in this situation. Having my son is the GREATEST and I DO need to let go of the hospital stuff. What's an ID bracelet when I've got him!
I think I may tell more of my story sometime, because the more I look back, the more I relize I was changing my mind on the adoption, only to be "perswaded" to continue with it. This may educate others.
And if I can help others, I think that will help me except it all as well.
Thank you again, I'm glad I came across this site.