Unplanned Pregnancy, Expectant Parent Blog - Hindsight in my Hospital Experience

Crisis Pregnancy Blog

12/30/06

Hindsight in my Hospital Experience

Posted by : Coley S. in Crisis Pregnancy Blog at 05:47 am , 468 words, 71 views
Categories: Hospital Stay/Labor

I’ve written about my hospital experience before and aside from the lady from the birth certificate office and a few dirty glances from nurses, compared to the horror stories I have heard from other birthmothers, I had a pretty positive hospital experience.

I do get asked by women considering adoption if there was anything about my hospital experience I would change, so I thought today I would share those things with you. They say hind sight is twenty/twenty and at the time I didn’t realize these were issues, but looking back five years later, I wish I had done things just a tad differently.

(Note: This is my own personal list; other birthmothers may feel differently about the aspects I mention.)

I would have had fewer visitors! I had my parents visit me, my niece and her friend, co-workers, a few old friends, and my roommate all visit me in the span of a three day hospital stay!

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I would have asked the friends and family of the adoptive family to please wait until Charlie was home to visit. I allowed them to visit in my hospital room too! At the time, I thought it would be nice to see them interact with the baby. I guess I was forgetting that with our open adoption arrangement, I would be able to see them interact with him later. Needless to say the countless visitors streaming in and out over the hospital stay was busy, hectic, and just too overwhelming!

I would have spent more alone time with Charlie. Obviously after reading numbers one and two you can tell I didn’t have a whole lot of one on one time with Charlie. I regret this and wish I had.

I would have asked Charlie’s adoptive parents to see if they were allowed their own room in the hospital. All the visiting took place in my room and A spent the nights (at my approval of course) but I think if they had had their own room I would have had more space. Honestly, I don’t think either of us knew that they could have even asked for one at the time.

I would not have signed the relinquishment papers in the hospital. I wish this practice would be illegal. Legal papers should be signed in a lawyer’s office or a court room. Heck, I could even see a conference room in the hospital, but not the bed I had just spent three days saying goodbye to my baby in! I have not had other children yet, but am curious to see if the experience of signing in the hospital room taints future hospital experiences.

I’d love to hear from other birthmothers who might be reading this about things they would have changed!

4 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Heather Lowe [Member]

· http://unplanned-pregnancy.adoptionblogs.com/

These are all good, but #5 is so important. We have to change this practice.
Do you sign a mortgage in a hospital bed? Or any other kind of big legal documents? It shouldn't happen in adoption, either.
Kudos to those states who understand that a courtroom is the best place to do something of this magnitude.

Permalink 12/30/06 @ 06:03

Comment from: Coley S. [Member]

· http://unplanned-pregnancy.adoptionblogs.com/

Great analogy Heather!

Permalink 12/30/06 @ 07:07

Comment from: Brittanys1stmom [Member]

· http://www.birthmombuds.com/showcase_alicia.htm

That is a great analogy Heather. No abiding contracts are made in a hospital bed. I did not experience the time in the hospital, but if I had,I think that all you mentioned is what I would have done Coley.

Permalink 12/31/06 @ 07:23

Comment from: ginny [Member]

I agree that no one should sign relinquishment papers in the hospital.

I just have to comment about not signing mortgages in the hospital, though--I actually did this twenty years or so ago, right after major surgery, and heavily medicated on morphine. I know that I did it, but I don't remember doing it, if that makes sense.

Permalink 01/03/07 @ 16:23

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