October 2nd, 2006
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Firstmom Blogger, Jenna, recently wrote a great post titled, Family Planning: No One Told Me about This. In her post, she talks about how once she started parenting her son; she realized that it wasn’t as hard as it was going to be.

Her post got me thinking, not about the complexities of raising children, but about family planning. I think that we tend to always think that we can have more children down the road. It’s something that adoption agencies and adoption professionals typically tell a lot of expectant mothers considering adoption, “You can have a baby when the time is right.” Or “You can always have more children later.” It’s something I even told myself. Not that any other children would ever replace Charlie, but it was more of a coping mechanism I believe, that the thought of more children down the road would make loosing one seem less painful.


But the truth is you never know what the future holds. Like Jenna mentioned in her post, some birthmothers never go on to have more children. I read a statistic somewhere online (and I looked everywhere for it for this article and can’t remember where I read it) that said almost forty percent of birthmothers do not go on to have more children, whether it’s a conscious choice or a physical problem that prevents it later on down the line.

Personally speaking, I never thought that I would ever in my life have a problem having children. I thought I was Fertile Myrtle – I had gotten pregnant on the depo provera shot, for goodness sakes! But I guess my body is getting older and tired because three miscarriages later, I still don’t have “other children.”

So, if you are considering adoption and banking on the fact that you can have more children down the road, just keep in mind that you never know what the future may hold and that more children may not be as easy as you thought it would be.

4 Responses to “Having More Children”

  1. Heather Lowe says:

    I was just going to post on this very topic! It’s a very important point to consider: the baby you are carrying now could be your ONLY shot at having a baby.

  2. Jan Baker says:

    I have not devoted an entire blog to this topic, but it is an important point for women considering relinquishment to remember. There is much that we have control over in our lives. Getting pregnant or carrying a baby to term and giving birth are not always under our control. Something to think about if you think that you can have another baby later, when the timing is right for you. Sadly, it does not always happen for many birth moms.

  3. lahdh4 says:

    This is one thing I try not to think about since I had J when I was 32 and am now 35. I would like one more child and I hope it will happen. I know that the statistics are there and I don’t like them but it is the reality.

  4. Very important topic to address. I was going to talk about our personal struggles very soon.

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