Firstmom Blogger, Jenna, recently wrote a great post titled, Family Planning: No One Told Me about This. In her post, she talks about how once she started parenting her son; she realized that it wasn’t as hard as it was going to be.
Her post got me thinking, not about the complexities of raising children, but about family planning. I think that we tend to always think that we can have more children down the road. It’s something that adoption agencies and adoption professionals typically tell a lot of expectant mothers considering adoption, “You can have a baby when the time is right.” Or “You can always have more children later.” It’s something I even told myself. Not that any other children would ever replace Charlie, but it was more of a coping mechanism I believe, that the thought of more children down the road would make loosing one seem less painful.
But the truth is you never know what the future holds. Like Jenna mentioned in her post, some birthmothers never go on to have more children. I read a statistic somewhere online (and I looked everywhere for it for this article and can’t remember where I read it) that said almost forty percent of birthmothers do not go on to have more children, whether it’s a conscious choice or a physical problem that prevents it later on down the line.
Personally speaking, I never thought that I would ever in my life have a problem having children. I thought I was Fertile Myrtle – I had gotten pregnant on the depo provera shot, for goodness sakes! But I guess my body is getting older and tired because three miscarriages later, I still don’t have “other children.”
So, if you are considering adoption and banking on the fact that you can have more children down the road, just keep in mind that you never know what the future may hold and that more children may not be as easy as you thought it would be.