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Finding out about an unexpected pregnancy can be different from the happy scenes portrayed in movies and on television. For me, my partner did not greet me with long stem roses upon his return. My parents did not jump for joy. And if a soundtrack had been playing, as if we were on television, I’m sure it would have been a sad lament or even something with a more ominous tone. It really wasn’t the best of circumstances.
For me, I didn’t even recognize that my period was late. I have a very irregular cycle. I always have and I still do. In fact, I had (falsely) assumed that because of my very irregular cycle that becoming pregnant in the future (when I wanted to, that is) would be somewhat difficult. Wrong answer! My (relinquished) daughter’s father is actually the one who mentioned something about me just “being moody” because I was “on my period.” This caused a mental pause on my part followed by some finger counting. After discussing it with a friend, I mentioned that I was late to my partner.
He told me that I’d better hurry up then, assuming that I meant for work. Not quite.
We went to purchase a pregnancy test together. Upon returning to the house, I locked myself in the bathroom. I can still remember the horrible pink tile of that bathroom as I waited for the results. I stared out the window and wondered what turn my life was about to take. The two lines on the test brought tears. And those tears brought about a series of events that became the biggest change my life has ever known.
My story, it seems, is not unique. Many of my friends, older and younger, have experienced unplanned pregnancies. (Do you know that married couples can have a surprise baby? Who knew?!) The story is often the same though the tile in the bathroom isn’t often that horrendous pink. (Though, I did meet one mother for whom the tile was pink! We laughed together.) The feelings, however, are always the same:
How will I do this? Can I make this work? Can we make this work? What will the reaction of others be? How will I tell my partner? My family? My friends? My employer? Will I still have a job? Will I still be able to work? What if something goes wrong with the pregnancy? How did this happen? (Well, other than the obvious answer.)
In the end, though my friends and I have all chosen different paths and experienced different things, the truth is that we have all made our situations and decisions work for us. Those that chose to parent were able to find ways to make their situation work. Those who chose to place found ways to make that situation work. Did we all experience some difficulty? You bet your britches! In fact, if there’s one general thing you could say about the whole decision making process regarding anything parenting is that it is difficult at times. No one can really argue that point. It’s a fact.
It’s funny, though. At the time that those two lines showed up on the pregnancy test, I thought my life was over. Again, that ominous music would have been playing as I opened the door, pregnancy test in hand. But now, as I look back on it, despite the hardship I have been through since that day, I don’t see it as the worst day of my life. True, not the best day either. But, in a way, probably one of the most important days of my life. From that point, everything in my life changed. Maybe I’ll talk about that soon.
So, how did you find out that you were pregnant?
