Fear is a common feeling for any parent-to-be, and there is even more fear for expectant parents in a crisis pregnancy. Not only are you worried about the crisis pressures like money, housing, timing, childcare, or general disapproval, but you face all the same large-scale worries other expectant parents face (“Will I be a good mom or dad? Will my baby be okay in this big, scary world? What can I do to make sure my child turns out well?”)

Because they are not as connected to the pregnancy experience (and are often shunted to the sidelines), men can feel even more of this fear than women. Men often get a bad rap for “running away” during a crisis pregnancy, but many men very much want to be there—they just aren’t invited or allowed in as participants.

That’s why I was pleased to read a review copy of Scott Kelby’s The Book for Guys Who Don't Want Kids: How To Get Past the Fear of Fatherhood. Although it’s not written for men who are dealing with crisis pregnancies, it’s universal enough to apply to all guys who are about to become fathers. Whether it’s the men who honestly feel like fleeing or men who probably want to be Dads but just aren’t sure, this short (72 pages) little book attempts to soothe deep-seated fears and calm jangled nerves. It brings out all the great things about being a Dad, while staying honest about how a man’s life will change once the baby arrives. In my opinion, the author’s best point is how the unconditional love you’ll feel for your child makes you want to turn in your “freedom” voluntarily. Having a kid doesn’t “tie you down”—it opens your horizons.

Kelby is plain-spoken and likeable, with a good sense of humor. His points are a little simplistic at times, but then so is the subject matter. (Fears aren’t terribly complicated…they’re just hard to overcome.)

I’d recommend this book for all expectant parents in crisis pregnancy. Too often, the men and women in crisis pregnancies concentrate on all the pitfalls of having a child, and don’t consider the joys of parenthood. This book can help you consider both sides.