Since today is Father’s Day, I really wanted to post something honoring the dads out there – whether they are birthdads who participated in the adoption plan, adoptive dads, or just regular ole' Dads, but I struggled with what to say regarding birthdads. I guess this is because my son’s birthdad was not involved at all with the adoption plan and that experience has tainted my view of birthdads in general.

However, in my work at BirthMom Buds, I have gotten to know a few birthdads of our members and the birthdads that are involved are supportive of the adoption plan and go through the ups and downs just as birthmothers do, they just don’t show it as much as the birthmothers do. I guess that’s part of their manly hood – they feel they must not show their emotions and be strong for their significant other. Though my experience with them may be few and far between, I applaud these birthdads who helped choose life, who helped make the adoption plan, and who follow through with the contact agreement and are supportive of the adoption in general.

Then there are men like my husband – men who are not the birthdads but are in a relationship with a birthmother and are left to pick up the pieces. Though he is not biologically Charlie’s dad, I think there are times he steps in as a “surrogate” birthdad, so to speak. He is always there with me at visits, he’s the one who holds me on Charlie’s birthdays when I'm crying, and he is the one who gets the privilege of rumbling and playing with Charlie at visits.

Then there are men like my father, who was always there for me, who was always everything a father should be. I have fond childhood memories of times with my father. Memories that have shaped the person I am today. Memories that shaped the type of family I chose for Charlie. I had a good childhood and terrific parents and because of that – that’s what I wanted for Charlie and I know that’s what he is receiving.

So Happy Father’s Day to all the Dad’s out there. I honor you today!