I don’t write a whole lot about expectant fathers being involved in the adoption process. “Why” you may be wondering…

A great deal of what I write here is either based on my personal experience from my own unplanned pregnancies or prompted by them. Since I did not have the involvement of Charlie’s birthfather during my pregnancy and the adoption process, I have no personal experience to go from.

When I found out I was pregnant (at nearly five months along) Charlie’s birthfather and I were no longer involved. When I told him I was pregnant, he was not very happy. He wanted the whole situation to just “go away” and was not involved in the adoption process what so ever. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, the baby, or adoption so I made all the decisions on my own along with the love and support of J, who is now my hubby, who sort of filled in by supporting when Charlie’s birthfather wasn’t around to.

That experience has not left me bitter towards expectant fathers or birthfathers, I just do not have the personal experience in dealing with expectant fathers that others have. I do know what I know about birthfathers from friends who are birthmothers who have the involvement and support of their child’s birthfather.

If an expectant father wants to be involve then I think legally (and I’m not an attorney) they have the right. This is their child too and they have the right to be a part of the decision making process, parenting (if that’s what you choose to do) and the child’s life and the father also has the obligation to financially assist if you choose to parent.

In my next post, I'll share one birthmother's story of how she leaned on her boyfriend during her pregnancy.

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More on Expectant Fathers and Birthfathers:
How to Tell Your Baby's Dad you are Pregnant
Father's Rights in Crisis Pregnancies
Birth Father Rights