Have you ever heard the phrase “green with envy?” I’m feeling a little envious of someone at the moment. Her situation is so similar to mine. She’s parenting a child with special needs (not as involved as my son though) and she is pregnant. Her first child’s father passed away and her unborn baby’s father does not want to be involved so she has no father involvement just as I did.

Originally she was considering making an adoption plan. She thought it would be the most responsible thing to do in this situation because her parents are already helping with her first child and she didn’t want to burden them with helping her with a second child. But, when she told her parents of her pregnancy and the fact that she was making an adoption plan, things changed.

Her parents don’t want her to make an adoption plan. They want to and are very willing to help her parent this baby. Many of her extended family members are offering to help as well.

That is the part that makes me envious; that she has so much family support. But, it also has me thinking – if given the opportunity would my family have helped me in raising Charlie? When I told them I was pregnant, I really didn’t give them any options or want to know their reactions. I basically said, “I’m pregnant and making an adoption plan. I’ve already begun making arrangements. It’s all taken care of.” I never gave them a chance to offer to help. I didn’t think that they would help me because they were already doing so much for Noah. But, my friend didn’t think her family would help her either and they are.

In hindsight, I wish I’d ask. They might have been willing just as my friend’s family is to help me parent. Or they might not have been. But at least if I’d ask or it had come up, I’d have a definitive answer and wouldn’t be left wondering as I am today.

So my advice to you today is, give your family a chance to offer support.

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