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As you continue to research your options between parenting and placement, you may be wondering just exactly who needs to be told and when they need to be told. You may fear the judgment that some people may pass on you as you share your plans to place your child for adoption. As such, you might not be open and ready to tell every person you come in contact with about your adoption plan.
That’s okay.
The question remains: should you discuss it with your healthcare provider? It depends.
If you are working with an agency, you will likely have to sign a waiver that allows them to access your health records. If you utilize a smaller doctor’s office, chances are that your nurses, at the very least, will know of the adoption immediately. Your doctor may not know unless your office is very small and very up-and-up on the gossip.
If you are not working through an agency or attorney, it may be beneficial for you to discuss your desires with the nurse or the doctor. They may know of a family whom you could meet to see if you are a match. Furthermore, even if you match independently, a potential adoptive family may want to see your health records. As such, you would need to discuss this with the staff at some point.
All of this aside, some people will tell you that discussing the adoption plan with your doctor or the hospital staff will only complicate things. They will advise you to keep it a secret so that the hospital staff doesn’t treat you poorly. I advise against this plan of attack. Why? Secrets never work out well in the end. Having everyone on the same page allows for more discussion and space for people to do what they need to do. If you are treated poorly, however, please contact the human resources department in the hospital immediately. Don’t wait until you leave the hospital. Do it now!
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